Friday, July 10, 2009

Irrational Fears

What are you paranoid about? This was one of Mama Kat's writing prompts Wednesday. Kisatrtle posted yesterday that one of her irrational fears is drowning. That's twice this week I've remembered the time when I was a little girl and almost drowned. Earlier this week my sister brought up my near drowning story while talking to a friend. I haven't thought about the incident in years. Now twice in one week. Hmmmm, I wonder if that's significant? Nah... When we were little, Mama worked as an RN and Daddy worked in a business who made service calls to other businesses, banks, etc. to repair their typewriters. Yes, I said typewriters. We had a woman who would watch us until Mama or Daddy got home. She was black as night, always wore a black dress with a white apron, and we called her Mae-me. I used to love to sit on her lap and be rocked and sung too. I loved my Mae-me. She took us to the neighborhood pool one afternoon. I was afraid of the water, but at the same time loved the feel of it on my skin. I would hold on to the railing and walk up and down the steps. I couldn't go all the way down the steps because that part was over my head even at the shallow end. I remember walking back up the steps and an older girl was coming down holding the railing. I had to let go for just a moment to go around her. The next thing I remember I was face down in the pool floating. This is very strange, but I had no fear at all. No sense of survival. No panic to try to turn over so I could breath. I just remember looking around and being so amazed because I could see people standing in the pool and their feet actually touched the bottom. For some reason, this little fact surprised me and amazed me that people could stand in the pool and it was not over their head. The next thing I remember, I was laying on my back beside the pool with a circle of faces looking at me. I have no idea what happened. Was I dead for a few seconds? Did someone give me CPR? Did I just pass out? Did I cough up water? I can't remember. Maybe my little brain blocked off any unpleasant memories of this experience. Or maybe I just don't remember. Mama won't talk about it. I know it scared her to death. We weren't allowed to go to the pool anymore with a sitter, although it was not Mae-me's fault at all. I guess Mama just got really, really scared. You would think that I would be terrified of water because of this, but I'm not. I love swimming. Although I will admit that I don't like swimming in the ocean. I have great respect for the tides and pull of the waves. I know I could get swept away very easily. And the fear from childhood that it was trying to suck me in has never quite vanished. Not to mention all those little critters that are always swimming around in there sort of gives me the creeps. No, I would say my most irrational fears as an adult are spiders, snakes, and very small spaces. Spiders because they just look evil and they have so many legs you never know what direction they will take off in. I hate them. Snakes because they are just evil and slippery and they just scare the poop out of me. I hate them too. As far as small spaces, it's not that the space actually has to be small, it's just the idea of a closed off space with no air movement. Even in the car or truck I have the air blowing in my face or the window cracked. Without doing one of those 2 things, I just don't feel I can breathe very easily. When I worked at a doctor's office, I always kept the exam room doors slightly cracked. If someone needed to find me, they always knew which room I was in because of that. :) What are you afraid of? Why? I'd love to hear your comments. This is my husband, Tom, holding the pet snake of the kids' across the street. They were all trying to convince me to hold it or at least touch it. In this picture, Tom was saying, "See, he's a nice snake. He won't hurt you." Yeah, right..... No thanks! I had to go inside the house. I couldn't even stand being that close to a snake and watching Tom and the boys holding it. Ewwwww. Creepy. Gross.


  1. fear is heights. I absolutely do not like to be up where I have no control of my feet touching our lady Earth in some flat form or fashion.

  2. I don't like walking on things I can see gaps through, like ladders, circular stairs, piers... Is that a height thing too? Did you ever watch the movie, "Space Cowboys"? When the passenger gets out of the plane, he's thankful to be pack on the wonder earth too. :)

  3. Wow not sure I should tell everything I'm scared off.. I could just embarass myself. I know that it is normal to have some but mine have controled me for my entire life. Sounds bad yes I know. But I'm scared of not being in control. SO when you think of that, that includes alot of things. Flying for example I can't get out of a plane when I want.. I can't just say OK I WANT OUT... Not a good idea to jump out. And YES I know, but it seriously limits where I can go lol. Ohh the Dentist is another OMG I hate the dentist.. I can't even pick up the phone to make a call, I would dial then hang up. lol
    My back tooth busted completely in half, and it almost made sick with worry cause NOW WHAT its so sharp it almost cuts my tongue. You'll be happy to know after several days over and over I talked myself into calling a dentist that does sedation. I think this is easier I gag so much and throw up in the chair... Not pleasant.. lol that just put me out, do all your gunky impressions, do your xrays, do all the work so when I wake up I don't have to come back for 10 years lol. OK is that enough irrastional enough for you?? lmao
    Then there are little things like spiders and bee's .. lol those just make me run. Your probably thinking now gee's she's alittle crazy. lol But seriously, I know there are ALOT of people scared to fly and scared of the dentist, some just won't admit it!.
    So there ya go.. I shared my craziness with ya. hehehe but I am a really nice person honest! :)

  4. I'm not sure I would be a swimmer if that happened to me as a child. And snakes...forget it.

    BTW thank you for the blog award. I posted about it today.

  5. Hey, I'm not crazy about the dentist either, but I've found a great one thank goodness.